Drinking the Oklahoma Kool-Aid

Truth be told, I am a transplant from the heart of Hollywood (8 years) and a life-long, California native. When I told my Hollywood friends about my brave leap of faith to move to Oklahoma, I am sure they all thought I was crazy.  Many people who live on the coastline, often conjure up images of prairie lands, teepees and tumbleweeds when the word "Oklahoma" comes to mind.

I am the sort of girl that loves the hustle and bustle of the city; I find beauty in a nighttime, city skyline. It was in the desolate countryside that I would get unnerved--becoming uneasy once my cell phone started to lose reception; open plains and long, empty stretches of highway out in the boonies freaked me out. What was a bona fide city girl like me going to do in a small town like Tulsa?  I didn't know, all I knew was that I was burnt out from 13 years of toiling away in the fashion industry, I missed my family, and I was ready for an adventure.

I am not going to lie, my first year year was rough, really rough. There were lonely weekends, and tearful days at first. Why had I moved to this strange land where the locals were obsessed with Big Gulps, trucks, and hunting camouflage?  Was I ever going to make friends?  Would I be able to make a life for myself here? The initial culture shock was overwhelming, and I found myself resistant to partake of the "Oklahoma Kool-Aid",  Where was my city night life? Where were my arty-fashionable-hipster friends? Where was the velvet rope entrance to the nightclub?  I was at a loss. I didn't get the fashion either:  Why were guys dressed like Ivy League frat boys?  Why were people wearing bright orange shirts and sweats to nice restaurants?  I didn't get it.  I didn't understand the food culture.  Why couldn't I find a Raw/Vegan Food restaurant? Why was everything fried and covered in bar-b-que sauce?  I felt like every street corner was either: a Gas station, a church, or a Walmart.

And now, here I am! 2 years later and I am pleased to report that despite all odds, I am a happy transplant! I am amazed when I reflect on how far I have come. It took some time, and adjustments but I am genuinely happy, and I love living in Tulsa. I work at a fantastic, Medical Spa, I adore my coworkers and our loyal clientele- best of all, I get to do what I LOVE every day!!! My lonely weekends are a thing of the past and now I'm super busy attending events, concerts, and having fun with wonderful friends.

The downtown Tulsa Brady District is booming and thriving with an impressive art scene, delicious restaurants, trendy bars, gourmet food trucks, local bands, music festivals and super fun events at the Guthrie Green. We recently had a music festival where over 40,000 people attended and over 70 bands played, does this look like a pokey ghost town to you?

Center of the Universe Festival -Neon Trees & One Republic headlined.

I traded in my LA skyline, for a more modest but beautiful, Art Deco one, and I've traded in my beloved, Silver Lake Reservoir for Centennial Park, which has become my little slice of heaven--isn't it pretty?

This rock and roll gal, has also embraced a little bit of country. Just a little bit. I learned how to 2 step to country music, I bought a pair of cowboy boots, and I unabashedly listen to Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood and Miranda Lambert! Hollywood friends cover your ears- because I know all the words too!  I've successfully made a hybrid of my valley-girl-speak with a vaguely southern drawl where I often drop my "G"s. I am: "workin', playin', singin' lovin' it y'all!"

I got my spiritual groove back as well. In L.A., I was staunchly anti-organized religion- I hadn't gone to church for over 10 years!  But after two years in the Bible-Belt, and after countless invitations to go, I finally caved and started going. I am the most surprised of all to report, that I'm loving it, and genuinely look forward to going every week!  In addition, the slower paced, more peaceful life here has allowed me more free time to pursue my passions, my main one being horseback riding; I find it therapeutic and thrilling all at once, as it should be: horse back riding is the third most dangerous sport in the world, and controlling a creature that weighs half a ton, with a mind of it's own is no easy feat!

This is my riding partner : Diva 

I've also traded in day trips to the beach, with views of the pacific ocean, for day trips to the lake where I soak up the sun on a boat, or float in the water, admiring the view. Oklahoma is so beautiful, hardly a day goes by where I don't think to myself how lucky I am to live in such a pretty city, with so many genuine people around me.

Looking back, it's amusing to me, how much I have embraced the culture and how much I love living in Tulsa. Yes, it's small, much smaller than I am used too, but the people are friendly and authentic, and I feel like the roots are deep. I feel incredibly blessed that I have a job I love, friends that I can count on, and family nearby. My stress levels have been reduced to a tenth of what it was living and working in LA.  I am the most carefree, and content that I have been in a long time---and that really says it all.

In the end, not only did a self-described city girl like me, decide to drink the "Oklahoma Kool-Aid, but I am quite happily, drunk on it.

From Heartbreak to Happy

Love is a battlefield

If you are anything like me, you have a rather long list of disappointing relationships, and your heart bears the scars of having survived a battlefield.  Because experiencing heart ache and heart break seems to happen to me so often, I feel like a "broken-heart veteran" of sorts-- armed with my own arsenal of survival skills.  Having recently been unceremoniously dumped this past week, and Valentine's Day around the corner, I thought: what better time to share with you some of my personal tried and true tips for healing your heart?  These tips have helped me recover in the past, and I certainly intend to take heaping slices of my own advice this week!

Tip #1 The power of delete

:

If you truly want to move on and have a fresh start, I highly recommend going into major delete mode; Delete! Delete! DAH-lete!  Delete photos off facebook, off of your phone, delete texts, and delete emails.  Do whatever you need to do to erase reminders of your Ex from your life as much as possible.  If you happen to be the sentimental type, it's okay to save pictures, texts and emails etc... just keep them in a hidden, safe place for now.  This may sound extreme to some, and I disagree.  It's not mean, it's not malicious.  It's doing some spring cleaning; physically and mentally. You have a better chance of a healthy, clean break if you do.  There is hardly anything worse than trying to get over someone only to have constant reminders of them everywhere you turn.  These triggers and reminders will slow down your healing.  You will have to let go sometime, and by taking matters into your own hands, you are empowering yourself to let go of the past, and move forward.

TIP #2 Cry, Baby Cry

It's important to own your emotions; accept the various waves of feelings as they come your way, and ride them out.  Frequently, that emotion is extreme sadness, and along with it the need to have a really good cry.  I have found, that it's best not to fight it, because it will all come out eventually. Interestingly, studies have shown that crying has been scientifically proven to make you feel better. The basic reason being that the body releases toxins we've built up after a stressful situation when we cry, in addition we also release endorphins.  Crying, in essence, is our bodies' natural way of dealing with pain, and healing itself.  With this science behind you, you should feel freed from any shame!  Silently sob, or do the "ugly cry", listen to your favorite sad songs on endless repeat, watch tear-jerker movies, and wallow.  Eventually the tears will run dry, and you will feel a lot better.

TIP #3 Lets have a Kiki!

Once you have had your little cry fest, it's time to recruit for moral support.  In other words: lock the doors, lower the blinds, and get drunk with your friends!  Get it all off your chest, talk about what happened, how it all went down, and of course, agree with them when they point out how you've dodged a bullet, and will be much better off in the long run.  My new favorite cocktail to imbibe during a kiki is a delicious bit of heaven called a "Mudslide".  After a couple of these with my best friend, I felt so good, and was laughing so hard at the funny movie we were watching-- I forgot, (for awhile), that I had been dumped only that morning.  As the song implies: Kiki's are fabulous for "dishing just desserts one may deserve"so you can "bid adieu to your ennui!"  Nothing like a little sugar and chocolate mixed with vodka to soften the blow that you, my friend, just got dumped.  I posted a link of a great mudslide recipe here: Mudslide Recipe

TIP #4 Make a "Reasons to be glad we broke up" List

Quite simply, start thinking about and writing down all the less than desirable qualities your Ex-significant other had.  Think of all the reasons why this break up is a good thing and write those down too.  Don't forget to include those little things that person did, that you found incredibly annoying or unattractive.  If your Ex had a lazy eye, suffered from a case of bacne or had less than impressive family jewels---focus on that!  Keep this list handy-- because you will need reminders on days when you are feeling sentimental and looking at your Ex through rose-colored lenses.  Read your list frequently, and especially whenever you feel tempted to text or call them. 

TIP #5 Work it!

Living well, they say, is the best revenge.  I know it's hard, because you'd probably rather stay home and cry into a bowl of ice cream, and if you are anything like me, you'd rather poke yourself in the eye with an ice pick than go to the gym.  So here is some info to help you get motivated. By exercising you can literally work out your grief- through cardio, running or kick boxing. You can sweat it out, work out your anger, blow off steam and relieve stress all at the same time.  On top of that, your reward will be double fold: not only will you get kick of feel-good hormones in your brain such as serotonin and norepinephrine, but you will also feel good emotionally because you are taking charge!  Lastly, you will have the benefit of knowing that you look even more smoking hot now, than you did before.  How's that for motivation?

Tip #6 Make a "Don't Need You!" Playlist 

There's hardly anything worse than going through a recent break up, only to turn on the radio and hearing nothing but mushy love songs.  Ugh...  To tide me over, until I am ready for that, I like to listen to my own "I'm over you!" Playlists.  I have two: one is more melancholy, love gone wrong, etc.  The second one is more bad ass: "I'm over you!" type songs.  Above is a sample of one of my playlists.  Feel free to make your own and include your favorite artists.  You can take your playlist with you wherever you go, especially when you are alone with your own thoughts (very dangerous!)  Listening to music that expresses what you are going through makes it feel less like you are the only one in the world who is feeling this way, and more like its part and parcel to the life experience.  Some songs have the magical ability to make you feel empowered, strong and uplifted.  Never underestimate the power of music.

Tip #7 Write positive, love notes--to yourself! 

One of the hardest things about a break up, is the abrupt loss of positive affirmations.  When you are in a relationship, you get used to the frequent exchange of words of love, compliments and support and then suddenly---it all stops!  I say, what's wrong with a little self-love?  I have pink, heart-shaped post-its, but any kind of post-it will do.  Write down positive, uplifting notes to yourself and post them on your mirrors where you can see them every day while you are getting ready.  Even if it sounds silly and narcissistic- I dare you to try it for a week and see if you don't find yourself in a better mood, and feeling more optimistic. The affirmations need to be present-tense, positive, short and specific. And there is science to back it up too!  Daily positive affirmations send messages to our brain and create pathways that say: this is how things are, and our subconscious receives these messages, accepts them, and makes them a reality. If you want to love again, you need to love yourself first. This is the first step!

 #8 Pursue your passions

Throwing yourself into your work will make you a better employee, but will it make you a better, more joyful person?  We all know that we are happier when our life is in balance: a balance of work, and of play.  Now is the perfect time to dive into a hobby you've been neglecting or the perfect time to try something new that you've been afraid to do.  Whatever it is: dance lessons, surfing, painting, singing lessons, magic tricks, taking up golf-- whatever the case may be.  Just dust off your dance shoes, surf board, your paint brushes, or sports equipment and do it!  Spending time doing things you enjoy is really important! Its therapeutic, it takes your mind of things, it gives you opportunity to meet new people, and it creates new experiences. All of which results in making you a more well-rounded, interesting person who has a passion for life.

Tip #9 Fight the urge to go into hiding

I need this piece of advice more than anyone-- I am infamous for finding every excuse to stay in as it is--preferring Netflix over a nightclub any day, but right after a break up I have a strict rule: I have one week to wallow in my own pity-party, (traditionally involving back-to-back episodes of Sex and The City and a pint of ice cream).  Withdrawal is a natural part of our fight-or-flight response--Choose to fight.  After you've had your own pity-party in your own way, it's time to return back to the land of the living.  Text your friends, coworkers and family- and tell them you are ready to come out of hiding.  Peruse your closet for those outfits that make you feel irresistible to the opposite sex and put on your best cologne or perfume.  Hit the town with your friends, go out dancing, go out to dinner, go to a bar, go to a concert--it really doesn't matter- just get out of the house!  Forcing yourself to be in the company of others will help accelerate the healing process.  In addition, meeting new people, and reconnecting with friends who have been by your side, will open opportunities to create fresh, and happy, new memories.

Tip #10 Be a really good friend to someone else

While in the midst of the throes of a tumultuous break up, it is very tempting to get completely wrapped up and immersed in our own little world of problems and hurt.  The problem with this is, we get trapped in our own head in the process- and that level of self-involvement inhibits our own happiness.  If we stop to look around for a minute- we have an opportunity to forget our own troubles and uplift someone else.  Have you ever found yourself super grateful and appreciative to someone else who has reached out to you--when you were feeling especially low, and really needed it?  I know I have.  Be that someone, who reaches out to another even if you don't know them that well.  Just offer them your company or a listening ear.  It's as simple as that.  Maybe you lost a significant other.  So what?  Relationships come and go with the weather.  But if you try to be compassionate and the kind of friend you would like to have, you may just gain a life-long friend in the process.

Reflecting on my move to Oklahoma- a year later: Was it worth it?

 As many of you know, this past May, I made the long-awaited and highly anticipated sojourn back to my home-state: sunny California and my beloved City of Angels.  My initial concerns and insecurities about my old friends forgetting about me, and not readily welcoming me back, were immediately and completely dispelled---much to my relief.  My 10 day trip was filled with all the things I had loved and missed so dearly: lazy afternoons at the beach

jaunts down my favorite palm-tree lined streets, shopping, dinners at delicious vegan-restaurants,
and most importantly, face-to-face, quality-catch-up time with dear friends.  

Shopping in West Hollywood with two close girlfriends

Suffice it to say, I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful, or memorable trip back home. 

However, on the inside, my heart was a whirlwind of emotions.  I had moments of pure joy followed by other days where I experienced moments of pure panic.  While relaxing, ocean side in Malibu or Venice my heart felt so happy and contented.  While traipsing down the streets of Silver Lake, where I had lived for 8 years, however, I experienced a mini, emotional melt-down.

Suddenly, it all felt too real.  And too surreal.  What had I done?!  I searched my heart earnestly, for an honest answer to my own personal, ultimate question: had I made the right decision by moving to Oklahoma?  What if I had made the biggest mistake of my life?

Now that I have returned back to Oklahoma, I have had time reflect on my experiences; I'm armed with a full years' worth of perspective.  I can honestly say that I know without a shadow of doubt--that I made the right decision.  Moving to Oklahoma has been a blessing and an opportunity to grow as a person in so many unbelievable ways that I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Yes, I have days where I miss California, but at the end of the day I firmly believe that it was the BEST decision I could have made.  I do not regret moving to Oklahoma, and I never will.

When I think about how I've grown, and what I have learned about myself since I moved to Oklahoma, I feel grateful.  The way I see it, I basically came to Oklahoma as a nobody; I no longer had a cute apartment in a hipster neighborhood, I no longer had the glamorous career, and I certainly no longer had the disposable income that I had been accustomed to for many years.  I quickly came to the important realization that my true identity has absolutely nothing to do with my personal possessions, achievements or career--and it never will.  Surprisingly, being stripped of my old identity was kind of liberating; as a recent transplant to Oklahoma, I could start over, completely fresh.  I wasn't any better than anybody else, but I would be darned if I wasn't just as good.

I also realized the importance of family, and what a blessing they can be.  I am closer to my parents, siblings, and niece and nephew now, more than ever.  I love them dearly; they are my my best friends and support system in every way.  I have been able to develop and strengthen my bonds with my family and re-connect with them--something I feel we ALL needed.  Moving here for that reason alone would have been worth it.

I also learned something interesting about myself that I am not so sure I would have discovered otherwise; I discovered that I am pretty freaking resilient.  Given any challenging situation, I will find a way to locate the silver lining, and turn everything into a learning experience.  Because, at the end of the day-- I believe that is what life is all about: striving each day to be a slightly better version of who you were the day before, and learning to appreciate the experiences that forever change who you think you are, and force you to re-evaluate who you really are.

Home...

For the past year, I've participated in what I like to call "my brave adventure".  I also unwittingly set myself up for a culture shock of a lifetime.  After living in California my entire life, and nearly 10 years living in Los Angeles,  I accepted the opportunity to move to the Midwest--to a decidedly conservative, country music-loving state in the middle of the Bible Belt: Oklahoma.  I resignedly traded in my L.A. cell phone number, my California driver's license, and my California license plates for all new Oklahoma ones.  On the plus side?  I could see my wonderful family every day, and I lived in the beautiful, quiet countryside.  Once an official Oklahoman, I dove right in: made friends, volunteered, found a job, and in all respects did my absolute best to adapt and enjoy the ride.

And now, a full 365 days later, I find myself right back where I started from:


I'm in LA again.

I knew that coming back to Los Angeles would be an emotional experience for me.  After all, I had left under emotional circumstances.  My last year in Los Angeles, had been a tumultuous one.  The economy had hit California hard, especially the fashion industry- I found myself laid off with an uncertain future.  In addition, I had recently ended a year-long, rocky, live-in relationship.  Living in the city has it's perks, but it also has it's downsides too;  it's easy to get metaphorically lost in the hustle and bustle of city survival.  I missed my family, and I longed to feel secure, and grounded again.  I also left because the idea of moving to Oklahoma scared me-- but I somehow knew that the adventure would be a rewarding experience.

As much as I enjoyed the welcome change, of slow-paced, peaceful, family-centric, green country livin' in Oklahoma-- I couldn't help but miss L.A. too.  It was dangerous for me to think too much about the palm trees, the ocean or the streets I knew so well, because if I did, it was almost certain that my heart would ache, and then the tears would start to fall.

It's hard to describe all the things that I am feeling now that I am here: it's overwhelming.  All of the things I took for granted before, I appreciate now on a much deeper level: the diversity, the liberal, open-minded attitudes, the nightlife selection, the fashion, the vegan restaurant options, and the fast-paced energy. 

I'm impressed now, more than ever by the unique beauty L.A. has to offer: the palm tree-lined streets, the Hollywood hills, the neighborhoods with a hodgepodge of impressive architecture: a craftsman, next to a Spanish bungalow, next to mid-century, next to an Art Deco building.  I've missed my familiar streets, my favorite restaurants, the sky line, the city lights: the heartbeat of the city.  I feel a very deep and heart-felt affection towards this city.

While driving back to West Hollywood last night, taking the scenic, albeit touristy route for old time's sake down Hollywood Blvd, a friend and I were talking about what it's like to move from place to place.  He is from Oklahoma, so he understands the complexity.  It feels weird to love more than one place; to have more than one "Home".  I feel torn, and conflicted.  He wisely shared with me comforting and sage advice: It's like that Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zero's song-- "Home" doesn't have to be a literal place.  "Home" is wherever you are-- with the people you love.

Lyrics to Home :
Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my Ma & Pa
Not the way that I do love you

Holy Moley, Me-oh-My, you're the apple of my eye
Girl, I've never loved one like you

Man, oh man, you're my best friend,
I scream it to the nothingness
There ain't nothin' that I need

Well, hot & heavy, pumpkin pie,
chocolate candy, Jesus Christ
There ain't nothin' please me more than you

Ahh, Home
Let me come Home
Home is wherever I'm with you (2x)

La la la la, take me Home
Baby, I'm coming Home

I'll follow you into the park,
through the jungle, through the dark
Girl, I've never loved one like you

Moats & boats & waterfalls,
alley ways & pay phone calls
I've been everywhere with you

That's true

We laugh until we think we'll die,
barefoot on a summer night
Nothin' new is sweeter than with you

And in the streets we're running
free like it's only you and me
Geez, you're somethin' to see.

Ahh, Home
Let me come Home
Home is wherever I'm with you

La la la la, take me Home Baby, I'm coming Home

Change is Constant

Easter 2011

It was Easter this past Sunday, and I was hit with the sudden realization that exactly a year ago -- I had flown in to Tulsa to visit my sister.  At the time, I was still residing in Los Angeles, (with no conscious plans to move) I just wanted to spend a week with my sister, and her two adorable kiddos.  I find it amusing and interesting to look back on this now, because little did I know at the time---how drastically my life was about to change in a few short months...

It's interesting to me how funny Life is in general.  ALL of us, go through life, blissfully unaware of the good things around the bend, or exciting changes life has in store for us.
If we are open to it.

A year ago, I was living in the heart of Los Angeles, with Hollywood a few minutes to the west, and downtown LA to the East.  I went to sleep every night, for 8 solid years, gazing at the Hollywood city lights, Capitol Records, and the Griffith Observatory.  The sounds of the occasional helicopter whirring by, lulling me to sleep. 

And I would wake every morning, to the familiar sounds of buses braking, cars honking, and greeting me outside my apartment window-the view of by the grand, Hollywood sign in the distance, and palm trees lining my streets.  My, how things have changed...

iphone pic of my view outside my bedroom window- sign to the top left!

My one year mark of living in Tulsa, Oklahoma is rapidly approaching, so I'm feeling pensive, and reflective.  I can guarantee that a more thought-out post will appear- sharing what I've learned, and how glad I am that I embraced the call of change when it beckoned.

Because there is one thing I've learned, in all my life, of living. And that is, try as you may, there is one thing a person can't stop-- and that is Change.  Change is constant.

The Roaring Twenties are Hot right now

Don't you just love cool coincidences?!!  I am having a moment right now.
Back in January I randomly posted about my Fascination with Flappers.
Not long after that I heard about the movie "The Artist"; it sounded like my kind of movie so I went out and saw it, and of course, I loved it!  Recently, "The Artist" took home 5 Oscars including: 'Achievement in Costume Design', and 'Best Motion Picture of the Year'!  And today I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the "Roaring Twenties" will continue to play a prominent role in, not only movies this year, but also fashion.  Hurray!  Take a look:

Baz Lurhmann's highly anticipated version of "The Great Gatsby" starring Leonardo DiCaprio is due out at the end of this year.

This Vogue article cleverly combines the movie "The Artist" with current fashion pieces:

Fashion Designers sent Roaring Twenties inspired looks down the runways this Spring.  The collections ran the gamut from: soft, sheer and flowy, to night time glam, and art-deco inspired elegance.

Ralph Lauren Spring 2012: sheer pastels, dropped waists, cloche hats, and ostrich feather trim

Marc Jacobs Spring 2012: a modern, sportswear look with subtle 20s influences

Tory Burch Spring 2012: mint green, 1920s' seaside resort, dropped waists, and T-strapped shoes

Gucci Spring 2012: Metallic colorways, Art-Deco style-lines, beading, dropped waists, and fringe

Are you feeling the "Roaring 20s" fashion inspiration?  If so, I would recommend duplicating the look in small doses. The idea is to be inspired by the: silhouettes, the glam, the elegance, and the accessories.  No one should look 1920s head to toe; you want to make an fashion statement, leaving onlookers in awe --not wondering if you are headed to a Halloween party. We'll leave the fully 1920s costumed looks to the Hollywood stars, walking around the movie sets.

On the set of the Great Gatsby remake due Dec 25th 2012

I just love it when Movies, and Fashion collide!  I love it even more when an era I have a special place in my heart for, takes the lead!  Fortunately, it looks like 2012 is shaping up to be my kind of year!  Fashion trends are not always so kind. When 1970s fashion comes back again, (which it will!) or if any Bohemian/Hippie trends take over, or worse yet: tie-dye---that's my cue to run and hide!

Mad About Mint

I thought that leaving Los Angeles for greener, Oklahoma pastures meant leaving my fashion career behind too.  But, somehow, abandoning my style-conscious sensibilities has been more difficult than I thought.  After all, researching and capitalizing on current fashion trends was how I brought home the bacon for years.  So, I suppose it's not surprising that despite, my relocation- old habits die hard.

Proof in point: I recently purchased the 600 page "Spring Bible", otherwise known as the March issue of Vogue magazine.  I perusued the latest designer ads and fashion editorial spreads with gusto, like a kid, long deprived of candy.  After I studied the March issue, cover to cover, I was left with an impermeable impression of two definite trends:


Trend #1 Retro-Americana:
I'm getting a definite 1950s/ 1960s vibe, not as fashion was exactly back then, but re-interpreted through nostalgic,  rose-colored lenses.  The look is part Mad-Men, part Pin-Up, and the feel is All-American: like a shiny, Mint Green, 1957 Chevy.

Trend # 2 The color Mint Green:
The color Mint Green is making a come-back! Mint Green makes me think of classic cars, Vespa scooters or any vintage, 1950s/1960s appliance.  It's a refreshing, clean, and nostalgic hue.  Just think of a bowl of delicious, mint n chip ice cream, or a pin-up wearing a sheer, mint-green scarf.  Mint Green is a cheerful color, with a decidedly, retro charm--and I'm loving it!

My favorite March 2012 Vogue pages/inspiration:

More Inspiration from Pin Up Girl Clothing/ Micheline Pitt:

Essie- Mint Green nail polish

All that perusing in Vogue, got me totally inspired which meant I had to go shopping. 
Here is my starter kit for my Mint Green madness:

But the best part is the shoes! Only $30 at Charlotte Russe!