As many of you know, this past May, I made the long-awaited and highly anticipated sojourn back to my home-state: sunny California and my beloved City of Angels. My initial concerns and insecurities about my old friends forgetting about me, and not readily welcoming me back, were immediately and completely dispelled---much to my relief. My 10 day trip was filled with all the things I had loved and missed so dearly: lazy afternoons at the beach
jaunts down my favorite palm-tree lined streets, shopping, dinners at delicious vegan-restaurants,
and most importantly, face-to-face,
quality-catch-up time with dear friends.
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| Shopping in West Hollywood with two close girlfriends |
Suffice it to say,
I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful, or memorable trip back home.
However, on the inside, my heart was a whirlwind of emotions. I had moments of pure joy followed by other days where I experienced moments of pure panic. While relaxing, ocean side in Malibu or Venice my heart felt so happy and contented. While traipsing down the streets of Silver Lake, where I had lived for 8 years, however, I experienced a mini, emotional melt-down.
Suddenly, it all felt
too real. And too
surreal. What had I done?! I searched my heart earnestly, for an honest answer to my own personal, ultimate question: had I made the right decision by moving to Oklahoma?
What if I had made the biggest mistake of my life?
Now that I have returned back to Oklahoma, I have had time reflect on my experiences; I'm armed with a full years' worth of perspective. I can honestly say that I know without a shadow of doubt--that I made the right decision.
Moving to Oklahoma has been a blessing and an opportunity to grow as a person in so many unbelievable ways that I wouldn't trade it for the world. Yes, I have days where I miss California, but at the end of the day I firmly believe that it was the BEST decision I could have made.
I do not regret moving to Oklahoma, and I never will.
When I think about how I've grown, and what I have learned about myself since I moved to Oklahoma,
I feel grateful. The way I see it, I basically came to Oklahoma as a nobody; I no longer had a cute apartment in a hipster neighborhood, I no longer had the glamorous career, and I certainly no longer had the disposable income that I had been accustomed to for many years. I quickly came to the important realization that my
true identity has absolutely
nothing to do with my personal possessions, achievements or career--and it never will. Surprisingly, being stripped of my old identity was kind of liberating; as a recent transplant to Oklahoma, I could start over, completely fresh. I wasn't any better than anybody else, but I would be darned if I wasn't just as good.
I also realized the importance of
family, and what a blessing they can be. I am closer to my parents, siblings, and niece and nephew now, more than ever. I love them dearly; they are my my best friends and support system in every way. I have been able to develop and strengthen my bonds with my family and re-connect with them--something I feel we ALL needed.
Moving here for that reason alone would have been worth it.
I also learned something interesting about myself that I am not so sure I would have discovered otherwise;
I discovered that I am pretty freaking resilient. Given any challenging situation, I will find a way to locate the silver lining, and turn everything into a learning experience. Because, at the end of the day-- I believe that is what life is all about:
striving each day to be a slightly better version of who you were the day before, and learning to appreciate the experiences that forever change who you
think you are, and force you to re-evaluate who you
really are.
