"The Road Not Taken": What I Learned in 2011

As many of you know, this has been a year of many significant changes in my life: a change in career, a huge change in location, a change in my relationships, not to mention a change in lifestyle.  Some changes were beyond my control, but most if not all, were fully maneuvered by my reins.  And I'm glad I did it too.  It's just what I needed to snap me out of my complacency.  But, I'd be lying if I said the adjustment has been easy-- because it hasn't been.  There have been many tears, and lots of heart-ache this year.  But that's okay.  I purposely chose the "Road Not Taken".  As Robert Frost, so eloquently wrote:

"I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

That being said, before I say "so-long" to my year of significant changes, I thought I might share some of the more personal life lessons I learned this year:

• I learned that sometimes being laid-off is a blessing in disguise.

• I learned to trust in and listen to my intuitive inner voice; it's has a very high accuracy rate.

• I learned to be honest with myself, and acknowledge when a relationship has run it's course, even if it hurts.

• I learned that if I don't like something about my life, it's up to me to change it; if I am afraid-- embrace the fear and do it anyway.

• I learned that if I am brand new in town, without any friends, the best thing to do is bravely head into town by myself, and make some new ones.

• I learned that having a sense of humor is crucial; it can get me through anything.

• I learned that this self-described "City girl" can survive out in the country too.

• I learned that true friendships can withstand, many miles apart.

• I learned that the fastest way out of a self-inflicted pity-party is to count my blessings.

• I learned that living in isolation, in the country is the perfect thing for a girl who is easily distracted and could use some self-reflection.

• I learned that I am incredibly lucky to have a family as quirky, yet unconditionally loving and supportive as mine is.

• I learned that volunteering makes me a better person: more grateful, more compassionate and less selfish.

• I learned that living in the country has it's perks: I get to experience the seasons and it's absolutely gorgeous in the spring and fall.

• I learned that if I sleep in a bed with two dogs and a cat every night, it's virtually impossible to be lonely. 

• I learned that if I speak from my heart, I will attract meaningful friendships with like-minded individuals who do the same.

• I learned that sometimes the best therapy is to hop on a horse and go for a ride.

• I learned to appreciate the phrase: "get back on the saddle again". Now that I have literally fallen off my horse, and had to get back on again, the phrase has a whole new meaning.

• I learned that life really is an adventure: it can be as boring or as exciting as I allow it to be.

• I learned that I can be wealthy and rich in ways that have absolutely nothing to do with money.

• I learned that if I look for the bad in things, I will surely find it.  But if I seek out the good- I will not only find it, but I will be amazed and humbled by the abundance of it. 

My 6 Month Mark

It's hard to believe that 6 months have already gone by. I can't help but feel a sense of accomplishment, although (let's be honest) I haven't REALLY accomplished all that much. At this 6 month mark, I can't help but pause to reflect on: how far I have come, and what an interesting journey it has been.

Over 6 months ago I was READY! I had been saying my "good-byes" to friends, co-workers, familiar streets, local shops, and favorite haunts for a solid a month. I just needed my 6ft 3 brother AND his muscles to help load up the U-Haul and we'd be on our way! To, not necessarily greener pastures, but something new and different- and that was reason enough. I was anxious to begin a new chapter in my life. I had been very content living in Los Angeles for a long time, but circumstantially, I was at a crossroads in my life, and the move was a welcome change.

First of all, I was jaded. The LA nightlife, for me, had started to lose it's sparkle and shine. What at 18 had been glamorous, and thrilling, at 30something was feeling forced and tired. The mustachioed hipsters, were starting to annoy me, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to decipher a bearded, grime covered trust-fund kid from an actual, well, homeless person. I had been a true-blue club kid jumping from one music genre, scene, party and club for over 10 consecutive years. It had to get old some time, and it finally had.

Secondly, but more importantly, I REALLY missed my family. I had started to lose myself in the chaos, crowded streets and strangers in LA. I wanted to go back to what mattered at the end of the day, and be reminded of who I really was at the heart of it all. Those who knew me best, and saw right through my rock n roll haircuts, tattoos and other layers of trying-hard-to-be-different-hipster-dom.

So 6 months have passed, and here I am. valuable insights have I gained?
Here we go:

Lesson #1
WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE~
I think I might have thought (or secretly hoped) that once I moved 1,400 miles away from where I had lived for 30 odd years, that maybe I could start fresh; have a new beginning, and all my old problems would sort of go away- like sand drifting in the wind, settling in the desert to be forgotten. I quickly realized that much like a new haircut, or a new wardrobe, re-locating does not change much - as far as your heart and mind is concerned. I had left broken-hearted, full of insecurities and idiosyncrasies. Lo and behold, all my mind-baggage tagged along right with me; it did not disappear along the journey as I had hoped. I had to deal with and resolve each issue one, by one. The location was merely a backdrop to the real drama going on in my life.

Lesson #2
THE ART OF PORCHING~
This is not a well-known past time in LA. In LA, it's all about catching the latest, hippest, thing while it's HOT, before the "bridge and tunnel people" discover it, and it's no longer novel or cool anymore. In Tulsa, this is kind of a foreign concept. In my six months here, I have yet to stumble upon a difficult to-get-into club or restaurant, let alone any kind of velvet rope. What I've learned to do here is relax. Not take anything too seriously. Enjoy the scenery. The best place to be, is right where you are, with good friends, light-hearted conversation, ideally at sunset in someone's back porch, and most likely- a cool beverage in hand. I love it. Life doesn't get any better than that: taking in the simple pleasures in life, and savoring the moment.

Lesson #3
THE ART OF BEING A GOOD FRIEND~
Good friends are hard to come by. I think we can all agree on that.
One of the hardest things to let go of when I left LA, where the cherished friends I had to say good-bye too. It's not every day that you meet someone who knows you inside & out, good sides and bad, listens to your problems as if they were all life-threatening issues--and still loves you no matter what. I had that in LA, and I was concerned that finding friends in Oklahoma would be hard. I had no reason to worry. Little did I know that I would I meet many amazing, friendly, genuine, good-hearted, and certainly, good-friend worthy people. As the old adage goes, 'the only way to have a good friend is to be one'.  I have been blessed with many friends here in Tulsa, and I am so grateful. It's up to me now, to hold up my end of the bargain and be a good friend right back.

In summary, I still have a long way to go, as far as getting myself settled here. Ahem, finding a good job, and going back to school to pursue my new career path. (I'm working on that too.) But I think the most important thing I can say is that even though I have days where I really, really miss the old and familiar, I am VERY glad that I moved here. I know, with my whole heart, that I made a good decision, and I have not regretted it.  I feel like I have more growing to do, and more lessons to learn.
And...(say it with an Okie accent), all the growin' and the learnin' are happening in the right place.

How did I end up here, in Oklahoma?

I grew up in California. I was a pint-sized, sweet kid with a big imagination. I spent many joyful and care-free days frolicking in sprinklers, riding my Blue Schwinn bike, making Barbie clothes, and climbing trees. I have many nostalgic memories of contented summer days spent at the beach, frolicking in the waves all day & coming home sunburned. As kids, Mom took us all up and down the southern California coast.

Then, I morphed into a rebellious teen with a penchant for vintage clothes, punk music, bleaching my hair and sneaking out of the house. I moved out just before my 18th birthday, to attend Fashion Design school in Long Beach, located smack dab on the famous Pacific Coast HWY. While living on campus for 2 years in a chaotic city far from home, I quickly realized one of my first big, life lessons; that the family I had rebelled so hard against all my teen years turned out to be my biggest supporters and my lifeline.

While in high school, I was labeled a misfit, but in college I was among other creative types and I felt right at home. I have fond memories of my college years; It was an exciting time, of idealistic youth, and living on the brink of greatness. During those years, I was the poorest I've ever been, but I believe, I was also the happiest.  I was "rich" in other ways; I lived and breathed Art & Creativity.  I drew, painted, made collages, wrote poems, and sewed my own clothes. I experimented with my hair (a past time that would would continue over the years) dying it: black, red, blond, blue, pink and back to black again. I began to fully embrace my individuality, and nurtured the seed of a fruitful, future career in fashion.

After completing school with my AA degree in Fashion Design, I moved to my beloved Laguna Beach, followed by a two years stint in the surfer mecca-Huntington Beach. While living there, I was snapped up as a design assistant, and continued from there to have a fairly successful career in the Fashion Industry for the next consecutive 13 years. While working like crazy in the cut-throat retail/fashion profession, I learned some invaluable lessons about  business, politics and of course, myself.

This was my view from my bedroom window- notice the Hollywood sign to the left & the Griffith observatory to the right.

Although I've lived in California my entire life, the city that has felt the most like "home" so far, has been a quaint, bohemian neighborhood bordering the east-side of Hollywood known as Silver Lake. I adored Silver Lake so much, in fact, I resided in the same apartment, with a great view of the Hollywood sign for the next 8 years.

Silver Lake Reservoir- there is a path all around it; this is how I kept in touch with nature all those years!

This past May, the stars suddenly seemed to align for me in an unforeseen way; I was recently laid-off, coupled with a desire to make a dramatic career change. In addition, my folks who had resided in Saudi Arabia for 13 years were about to retire to the midwest. This meant that for the first time-in a long time-I had a family home to "go home" too.  I took the timing as a sign, and felt an undeniable, magnetic pull-- to  uproot my heart and home and make the big move to distant, unknown lands... the "unknown land" being Sand Springs, Oklahoma, population: 18,000

This is the view from my steps of the apartment I lived in for 8 years. And that is the U-haul my brother drove for 30 hours.

So as of May 23, 2011 I began a new adventure in my life.  One that is simpler, slower and unmistakably different from the life I have lived up until now.  So far the adjustment has been bumpy, and challenging, but each week seems to improve in some small, encouraging way.  With my family close by, (whom all at once drive me batty and hold the place closest to my heart), I remain optimistic and hopeful about what the future may bring.
It's all an adventure.