Reflecting on my move to Oklahoma- a year later: Was it worth it?

 As many of you know, this past May, I made the long-awaited and highly anticipated sojourn back to my home-state: sunny California and my beloved City of Angels.  My initial concerns and insecurities about my old friends forgetting about me, and not readily welcoming me back, were immediately and completely dispelled---much to my relief.  My 10 day trip was filled with all the things I had loved and missed so dearly: lazy afternoons at the beach

jaunts down my favorite palm-tree lined streets, shopping, dinners at delicious vegan-restaurants,
and most importantly, face-to-face, quality-catch-up time with dear friends.  

Shopping in West Hollywood with two close girlfriends

Suffice it to say, I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful, or memorable trip back home. 

However, on the inside, my heart was a whirlwind of emotions.  I had moments of pure joy followed by other days where I experienced moments of pure panic.  While relaxing, ocean side in Malibu or Venice my heart felt so happy and contented.  While traipsing down the streets of Silver Lake, where I had lived for 8 years, however, I experienced a mini, emotional melt-down.

Suddenly, it all felt too real.  And too surreal.  What had I done?!  I searched my heart earnestly, for an honest answer to my own personal, ultimate question: had I made the right decision by moving to Oklahoma?  What if I had made the biggest mistake of my life?

Now that I have returned back to Oklahoma, I have had time reflect on my experiences; I'm armed with a full years' worth of perspective.  I can honestly say that I know without a shadow of doubt--that I made the right decision.  Moving to Oklahoma has been a blessing and an opportunity to grow as a person in so many unbelievable ways that I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Yes, I have days where I miss California, but at the end of the day I firmly believe that it was the BEST decision I could have made.  I do not regret moving to Oklahoma, and I never will.

When I think about how I've grown, and what I have learned about myself since I moved to Oklahoma, I feel grateful.  The way I see it, I basically came to Oklahoma as a nobody; I no longer had a cute apartment in a hipster neighborhood, I no longer had the glamorous career, and I certainly no longer had the disposable income that I had been accustomed to for many years.  I quickly came to the important realization that my true identity has absolutely nothing to do with my personal possessions, achievements or career--and it never will.  Surprisingly, being stripped of my old identity was kind of liberating; as a recent transplant to Oklahoma, I could start over, completely fresh.  I wasn't any better than anybody else, but I would be darned if I wasn't just as good.

I also realized the importance of family, and what a blessing they can be.  I am closer to my parents, siblings, and niece and nephew now, more than ever.  I love them dearly; they are my my best friends and support system in every way.  I have been able to develop and strengthen my bonds with my family and re-connect with them--something I feel we ALL needed.  Moving here for that reason alone would have been worth it.

I also learned something interesting about myself that I am not so sure I would have discovered otherwise; I discovered that I am pretty freaking resilient.  Given any challenging situation, I will find a way to locate the silver lining, and turn everything into a learning experience.  Because, at the end of the day-- I believe that is what life is all about: striving each day to be a slightly better version of who you were the day before, and learning to appreciate the experiences that forever change who you think you are, and force you to re-evaluate who you really are.

Home...

For the past year, I've participated in what I like to call "my brave adventure".  I also unwittingly set myself up for a culture shock of a lifetime.  After living in California my entire life, and nearly 10 years living in Los Angeles,  I accepted the opportunity to move to the Midwest--to a decidedly conservative, country music-loving state in the middle of the Bible Belt: Oklahoma.  I resignedly traded in my L.A. cell phone number, my California driver's license, and my California license plates for all new Oklahoma ones.  On the plus side?  I could see my wonderful family every day, and I lived in the beautiful, quiet countryside.  Once an official Oklahoman, I dove right in: made friends, volunteered, found a job, and in all respects did my absolute best to adapt and enjoy the ride.

And now, a full 365 days later, I find myself right back where I started from:


I'm in LA again.

I knew that coming back to Los Angeles would be an emotional experience for me.  After all, I had left under emotional circumstances.  My last year in Los Angeles, had been a tumultuous one.  The economy had hit California hard, especially the fashion industry- I found myself laid off with an uncertain future.  In addition, I had recently ended a year-long, rocky, live-in relationship.  Living in the city has it's perks, but it also has it's downsides too;  it's easy to get metaphorically lost in the hustle and bustle of city survival.  I missed my family, and I longed to feel secure, and grounded again.  I also left because the idea of moving to Oklahoma scared me-- but I somehow knew that the adventure would be a rewarding experience.

As much as I enjoyed the welcome change, of slow-paced, peaceful, family-centric, green country livin' in Oklahoma-- I couldn't help but miss L.A. too.  It was dangerous for me to think too much about the palm trees, the ocean or the streets I knew so well, because if I did, it was almost certain that my heart would ache, and then the tears would start to fall.

It's hard to describe all the things that I am feeling now that I am here: it's overwhelming.  All of the things I took for granted before, I appreciate now on a much deeper level: the diversity, the liberal, open-minded attitudes, the nightlife selection, the fashion, the vegan restaurant options, and the fast-paced energy. 

I'm impressed now, more than ever by the unique beauty L.A. has to offer: the palm tree-lined streets, the Hollywood hills, the neighborhoods with a hodgepodge of impressive architecture: a craftsman, next to a Spanish bungalow, next to mid-century, next to an Art Deco building.  I've missed my familiar streets, my favorite restaurants, the sky line, the city lights: the heartbeat of the city.  I feel a very deep and heart-felt affection towards this city.

While driving back to West Hollywood last night, taking the scenic, albeit touristy route for old time's sake down Hollywood Blvd, a friend and I were talking about what it's like to move from place to place.  He is from Oklahoma, so he understands the complexity.  It feels weird to love more than one place; to have more than one "Home".  I feel torn, and conflicted.  He wisely shared with me comforting and sage advice: It's like that Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zero's song-- "Home" doesn't have to be a literal place.  "Home" is wherever you are-- with the people you love.

Lyrics to Home :
Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my Ma & Pa
Not the way that I do love you

Holy Moley, Me-oh-My, you're the apple of my eye
Girl, I've never loved one like you

Man, oh man, you're my best friend,
I scream it to the nothingness
There ain't nothin' that I need

Well, hot & heavy, pumpkin pie,
chocolate candy, Jesus Christ
There ain't nothin' please me more than you

Ahh, Home
Let me come Home
Home is wherever I'm with you (2x)

La la la la, take me Home
Baby, I'm coming Home

I'll follow you into the park,
through the jungle, through the dark
Girl, I've never loved one like you

Moats & boats & waterfalls,
alley ways & pay phone calls
I've been everywhere with you

That's true

We laugh until we think we'll die,
barefoot on a summer night
Nothin' new is sweeter than with you

And in the streets we're running
free like it's only you and me
Geez, you're somethin' to see.

Ahh, Home
Let me come Home
Home is wherever I'm with you

La la la la, take me Home Baby, I'm coming Home

Change is Constant

Easter 2011

It was Easter this past Sunday, and I was hit with the sudden realization that exactly a year ago -- I had flown in to Tulsa to visit my sister.  At the time, I was still residing in Los Angeles, (with no conscious plans to move) I just wanted to spend a week with my sister, and her two adorable kiddos.  I find it amusing and interesting to look back on this now, because little did I know at the time---how drastically my life was about to change in a few short months...

It's interesting to me how funny Life is in general.  ALL of us, go through life, blissfully unaware of the good things around the bend, or exciting changes life has in store for us.
If we are open to it.

A year ago, I was living in the heart of Los Angeles, with Hollywood a few minutes to the west, and downtown LA to the East.  I went to sleep every night, for 8 solid years, gazing at the Hollywood city lights, Capitol Records, and the Griffith Observatory.  The sounds of the occasional helicopter whirring by, lulling me to sleep. 

And I would wake every morning, to the familiar sounds of buses braking, cars honking, and greeting me outside my apartment window-the view of by the grand, Hollywood sign in the distance, and palm trees lining my streets.  My, how things have changed...

iphone pic of my view outside my bedroom window- sign to the top left!

My one year mark of living in Tulsa, Oklahoma is rapidly approaching, so I'm feeling pensive, and reflective.  I can guarantee that a more thought-out post will appear- sharing what I've learned, and how glad I am that I embraced the call of change when it beckoned.

Because there is one thing I've learned, in all my life, of living. And that is, try as you may, there is one thing a person can't stop-- and that is Change.  Change is constant.

The Roaring Twenties are Hot right now

Don't you just love cool coincidences?!!  I am having a moment right now.
Back in January I randomly posted about my Fascination with Flappers.
Not long after that I heard about the movie "The Artist"; it sounded like my kind of movie so I went out and saw it, and of course, I loved it!  Recently, "The Artist" took home 5 Oscars including: 'Achievement in Costume Design', and 'Best Motion Picture of the Year'!  And today I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the "Roaring Twenties" will continue to play a prominent role in, not only movies this year, but also fashion.  Hurray!  Take a look:

Baz Lurhmann's highly anticipated version of "The Great Gatsby" starring Leonardo DiCaprio is due out at the end of this year.

This Vogue article cleverly combines the movie "The Artist" with current fashion pieces:

Fashion Designers sent Roaring Twenties inspired looks down the runways this Spring.  The collections ran the gamut from: soft, sheer and flowy, to night time glam, and art-deco inspired elegance.

Ralph Lauren Spring 2012: sheer pastels, dropped waists, cloche hats, and ostrich feather trim

Marc Jacobs Spring 2012: a modern, sportswear look with subtle 20s influences

Tory Burch Spring 2012: mint green, 1920s' seaside resort, dropped waists, and T-strapped shoes

Gucci Spring 2012: Metallic colorways, Art-Deco style-lines, beading, dropped waists, and fringe

Are you feeling the "Roaring 20s" fashion inspiration?  If so, I would recommend duplicating the look in small doses. The idea is to be inspired by the: silhouettes, the glam, the elegance, and the accessories.  No one should look 1920s head to toe; you want to make an fashion statement, leaving onlookers in awe --not wondering if you are headed to a Halloween party. We'll leave the fully 1920s costumed looks to the Hollywood stars, walking around the movie sets.

On the set of the Great Gatsby remake due Dec 25th 2012

I just love it when Movies, and Fashion collide!  I love it even more when an era I have a special place in my heart for, takes the lead!  Fortunately, it looks like 2012 is shaping up to be my kind of year!  Fashion trends are not always so kind. When 1970s fashion comes back again, (which it will!) or if any Bohemian/Hippie trends take over, or worse yet: tie-dye---that's my cue to run and hide!

Mad About Mint

I thought that leaving Los Angeles for greener, Oklahoma pastures meant leaving my fashion career behind too.  But, somehow, abandoning my style-conscious sensibilities has been more difficult than I thought.  After all, researching and capitalizing on current fashion trends was how I brought home the bacon for years.  So, I suppose it's not surprising that despite, my relocation- old habits die hard.

Proof in point: I recently purchased the 600 page "Spring Bible", otherwise known as the March issue of Vogue magazine.  I perusued the latest designer ads and fashion editorial spreads with gusto, like a kid, long deprived of candy.  After I studied the March issue, cover to cover, I was left with an impermeable impression of two definite trends:


Trend #1 Retro-Americana:
I'm getting a definite 1950s/ 1960s vibe, not as fashion was exactly back then, but re-interpreted through nostalgic,  rose-colored lenses.  The look is part Mad-Men, part Pin-Up, and the feel is All-American: like a shiny, Mint Green, 1957 Chevy.

Trend # 2 The color Mint Green:
The color Mint Green is making a come-back! Mint Green makes me think of classic cars, Vespa scooters or any vintage, 1950s/1960s appliance.  It's a refreshing, clean, and nostalgic hue.  Just think of a bowl of delicious, mint n chip ice cream, or a pin-up wearing a sheer, mint-green scarf.  Mint Green is a cheerful color, with a decidedly, retro charm--and I'm loving it!

My favorite March 2012 Vogue pages/inspiration:

More Inspiration from Pin Up Girl Clothing/ Micheline Pitt:

Essie- Mint Green nail polish

All that perusing in Vogue, got me totally inspired which meant I had to go shopping. 
Here is my starter kit for my Mint Green madness:

But the best part is the shoes! Only $30 at Charlotte Russe!

Mermaid Mania

Katy Perry, (whom I like, but do not idolize), recently collaborated with surrealist photographer, David LaChapelle on a hairdryer advert dressed head to tail,  as a stunning, pink-haired, mermaid vision.  The little girl in me, loooves this ad.  The costume is intricate, sequined, mermaid perfection.  As a life-long fan of mermaids, I couldn't help but wonder--what is it about the mermaid fantasy that attracts both young and old?

I'll admit, that I've caught myself envying my little niece's collection of mermaid costumes in her closet.  Perhaps it's because as a child, Faerie Tale Theatre's: "The Little Mermaid" was my favorite movie, and any time I found myself in water more than 2 feet deep, my favorite game was to pretend that I was a mermaid.

Even now, as a full-fledged adult I have indulged my mermaid fascination.  For multiple Halloween parties, I've busted out a long wig draped in pearls and starfish, squeezed into a skin-tight, sequined, turqoise "tail",  complete with pink, plastic, sea-shell cups.  However, I never looked as fabulous as Katy does, so I will save myself the embarrassment, and will refrain from sharing photos of my less glamorous, D.I.Y., mermaid get-ups here.

As my obsession, and admiration for this recent advertisement proves; sometimes, even when we think we have---do we ever really, truly grow up?

At any rate, thank you, Katy Perry, for dressing up as a mermaid, and doing it well.

Sometimes looking at a lovely visage is the next best thing to being it.

Reasons to LOVE Living in Oklahoma

I'm not gonna lie, I feel like I lost some of you, (dear readers), upon my last post about Oklahoma being a bit of a culture shock, for me, and why.  So I'm here to (shamelessly) attempt to win some of you back.  I've been working on this list since I moved here, and will continue to add to it.  There is a lot of GOOD here in Oklahoma.  Despite said culture shock, I know in my heart of hearts that living here is a good thing.  I see 95% of my family daily, and I am meeting really fantastic, inspiring people.  Life is simpler.  And living a life with less stress, and enjoying the simple things is what the "good life" should be all about right?  Right!  So, here are my reasons why I LOVE living in Oklahoma:

1.  Cocktail drinks are much cheaper here!

And 'hurray!' for that!  Obviously it does depend on where you go.  If it's a super fancy-shmancy place, expect L.A. prices.  However, if you choose to go to a cool location such as the Crystal Pistol Saloon in downtown Tulsa, consider yourself silly-drunk by the time you rack up a $20 tab. (Especially if you are a light-weight like me!) $2 Pabst, $5 well cocktails, and $6 shots.  Are you kidding me?  My wallet is thanking you. (My liver, not so much).  Fun times ahead-Let's do this.


2.  There is hardly any traffic!

 It's like having a Jewish holiday, every day! (Los Angelenos, and New Yorkers, you know what I'm talking about!)  It's soooo nice, to hop on the highway and speed along to where you need to go in no time!  I do not miss inane LA traffic... staring at the bumper in front of me for 45 minutes while creeping along at 10 miles per hour... hating life, and every car around me. "Whoo-hoo!" and "Hallelujah!" for less traffic in my life!


 3. Rockstar parking!

 In LA, I could spend 20-30 minutes circling my destination like a desperate hawk just to find one lousy parking spot.  Not fun.  The stress, and the unpleasantness of it all, often put me in a grumpy mood, wondering why I bothered to leave the house in the first place.  Here in OK, I rarely have to circle more than once, and more often than not, find a perfect, "rockstar" parking spot, waiting just for me, directly in front of my desired location.  Yes!  I could get used to this!



4. The rumors are true; people ARE nice here!

There is an overall politeness and friendliness from the majority of people that I've encountered in Tulsa, that you just don't get in an overcrowded, cosmopolitan city.   I first noticed this while at the Tulsa airport.  Having traveled quite a bit in my former life, I was pleasantly surprised at how my fellow travelers were politely moving aside to let me pass.  Quite a refreshing experience, versus being knocked over by huge bags, and impatient people.  In addition, I feel like people are nicer everywhere.  At the grocery store, instead of dirty looks, people smile and apologize if their cart accidentally bumps into yours.  While shopping I find myself chatting up strangers, like old friends.  And speaking of friends, I've gotta hand it to the people I have met so far; they have been kind, and welcoming.  For someone who has had to start over, with zero friends, in a brand new city- this is huge, and something I personally, will always appreciate.


 5.  It's gorgeous here

 Honestly, not a day goes by that I don't take a good look around and wish that I had a camera to capture it.  I am in constant awe of how much greenery there is, and how many wild animals I frequently spot.  Where I live,  deer sometimes bolt past my window, and birds are everywhere.   I love seeing the red cardinal birds perch on the trees in our back yard- their bright red feathers contrasting against a grey, winter sky.  In the spring, I have watched a family of ducks cross the street, and wild bunny rabbits hop about on our side lawn.  As a person who loves nature, I have to say- Tulsa is very pretty.  There are tons of trees, and it's been such a joy to experience "the seasons".


 6. Grassroots organizations are needed, and make a big impact here

 There are endless opportunities to contribute to the Tulsa community, in ways that not only make an impact, but are also needed.  People (like myself) that want to make a difference, or be part of a positive change, certainly can.  And because we're smaller, it's easier to communicate, rally the troops (so to speak) and make it happen.  It could be anything from organizing a parade, to starting a new night at a local bar.  If it can be imagined, it can be done. And I love that instead of relying on someone else to carve that path for you-- there is SO much opportunity for a person to carve that niche or path themselves!  On a personal level, I feel an obligation to the community already, to contribute my skills, talents, and passions.  (As small or as insignificant as those talents may be!) I know that they will be appreciated,  so I intend to do just that.

My little Fascination with Flappers

Over the years, as I've searched for creative ways to express myself, borrowing from the Flapper aesthetic became somewhat of a past time for me.  Like many women who love fashion, and glamour, there was (and still is) something about Flapper fashion that I find so appealing.  Although, I have the exact opposite of the ideal figure to pull the Flapper look off, I was determined to shape my hair in finger waves, draw on thin eyebrows, and paint cupid-bow lips. With authentic 1920s gowns in short supply, I wore vintage slips instead, slinky gloves, and layered on those pearls.  I knew much less about Flappers back then, then I do know.  However, the more I have studied their history, the more I realize there is to love.

That's me on the left at a Speakeasy club in Hollywood 

Bricktops Speakeasy, Hollywood 2005

Although my attempts at a Flapper fashion statement were sweet and well-meaning, Vogue magazine has done a MUCH better job of interpreting and depicting the alluring Flapper aesthetic through the exquisite and genius lens of the revered, Steven Meisel

Gorgeous fashion editorials aside, modern day perception of what a Flapper was really about, remains relatively hazy.  Thanks to cliched halloween costumes, many of us can't help but envision a generic, fringed mini-dress, a feather-plumed sequined, head-band and a fake string of pearls.  This simply doesn't do our 20th century, budding feminist of that era, any justice at all.  So I am here to elaborate, demystify and clarify what a Flapper really was, and why she resonates with modern women of today.

The fact is, a true flapper was a bona fide rebel.  Victorian etiquette, which had dominated previous generations, had dictated that proper ladies should have long hair, plaited or in a chignon.  Waists must be tightly corsetted, and your neck, ankles, and wrists (my dear), were to remain completely covered at all times.  Proper ladies did not wear cosmetics, did not smoke, did not drink, and most certainly did not go out dancing, unchaperoned with strange gentleman.  

Flappers didn't truly emerge until 1926. The young women at this time, who consciously chose to defy past cultural norms, were considered quite scandalous.  Flappers defined themselves by their actions and their appearances.  Before it became socially acceptable and popular, a blossoming flapper made her defining statement, by chopping off her long hair; trading it in for a chic, bob.

During a time when, it was believed that only prostitutes wore cosmetics, the Flapper, threw caution to  the wind! She would tweeze her brows to a thin arch, rim her eyes in smudged black kohl eyeliner, caked on the mascara, and wore vampy red lipstick.

She stopped wearing restrictive corsets, preferring light-weight, shape-less dresses that revealed her neck, arms, and *gulp* her legs!  Most hemlines stopped just below the knee (which is modest by today's standards, but at the time, was perfectly shocking!)  Flappers loved Jazz music, frequented underground speakeasies, and often danced the night away.  Many, but not all, were fond of carrying flasks, breaking prohibition law by drinking, and took up smoking from long cigarette holders.

Beyond the make-up, the fashion and outward appearances, the Flapper culture represented a significant evolution of a woman's role in society.  Young women were, for the first time in history, driving fast automobiles, dating whomever they chose, pursuing careers, and most importantly- voting.

I personally believe that the Flapper continues to hold time-tested allure, not only because of her glamorous outward appearance, but because, we as women recognize her in ourselves.  A Flapper epitomized a reckless rebel;  a woman who questioned traditions of the past, and embraced new ways of thinking and living.  When we see movies, or pictures of Flappers, I think we should all be inspired, and reminded of what the Flapper emergence was truly all about: an independent woman. A writer. An artist. An individualist. Most importantly, whomever she wanted to be.